We're looking to buy a new house. Actually, we've already found it. We just need to jump through the hoops to get the mortgage setup and we'll be off! That means, of course, delivering a small mountain of paperwork to the bank.

Then our neighbor drops in to visit. And he's telling us about his mortgage broker, and the incredible deal the guy helped him get. And suddenly he has me thinking about interest rate opportunities, and I'm calling his guy and finding better rates

Why not right? Thank you neighbor for the great opportunity!

But here's the funny thing. He's not the first guy to recommend we shop around. We've had countless friends and acquaintances over the years tell us "you simply have to call my broker." and we ignored them all!

Because everyone used words like "you have to", "need to", or "really should consider" my recommendation. It felt like they were, not so subtly, telling us what to do. And we don't like that. Actually, pretty much every human dislikes being told what to do. We much prefer finding it out for ourselves. Research shows we all feel this way.

But neighbor didn't tell us what to do. Instead he said, "I shopped forever to find the best rate. This guy was advertising rates so low, I didn't honestly believe it. But I called to check it out, just in case. And turns out his rates were legit."

An now I'm listening. But notice how he shifted our line of thinking.

First, he established rapport by explaining portions of his experience, experiences I've had myself. Instead of pushing to convince me, he opened a door and invited me in. I've heard plenty of ads for ridiculously low rates, but ignored them all.

But instead of telling me what to do, he told his Story. He took a chance, made the call, and discovered a lower rate. It rapidly became a Story I wanted to emulate. Because they really did have lower costs.

Lastly, he didn't tell us what to do, but allowed us to draw our own conclusions.

So here are 4 steps we can all use to increase our ability to sell and share fantastic new opportunities.

  1. ESTABLISH RAPPORT FIRST: Share a sentiment or experience we're likely to have shared - like above when my neighbor shares his leeriness of the "too good to be true" ads
  2. SHARE YOUR WEAKNESS: Then my neighbor explains how he came to realize his mistake - he learned these ads weren't "too good to be true" - this allows me to admit I also might be wrong
  3. NOW OFFER YOUR OPPORTUNITY: then he tells me about his low rate and how much money he saved - I want that too!
  4. GIVE THEM SPACE TO DRAW THEIR OWN CONCLUSIONS: He never tells me what to think or do, but offers me his experience and offers the opportunity to draw my own conclusions

It's very important you not tell us which conclusion should be drawn. The moment you tell us which conclusion we should be drawing, you're telling us what to do, and we face a decision. We can either "comply" or "defy" your request. And that's no fun. Easier to avoid the issue entirely by just ignoring what you have to offer.

You know you've got incredible advice. Especially those of you in sales and marketing. Thanks for putting so much effort in to help us see all you have to offer for ourselves.